The Tide Is Moving

When I read back through my very sporadic blogging over the last few years- I realize it follows a windy path that I have been on over the past 5 years -walking away from my faith tradition. For me this was a huge leap- it was leaving my people, my history, my culture. Bob and I both come from families with long traditions in the Episcopal church- our parents and grand parents starting churches, leading churches, working for the Church. Leaving it was huge- it was a break, a wound- it hurt bad.

A couple years in we landed in the absolute perfect spot for weary spiritual travelers- Journey Imperfect Faith Community. We were welcomed like old family members- loved- challenged. We fell in love with this lovely community. Journey took us at our pace. Journey helped me find my voice in worship. I was invited to speak, pray, and create. I was surprised that I enjoyed teaching a Sunday school class or leading prayer. I found my voice.

In the last year, my heart has longed for my roots. My healing has progressed and I felt ready to step back into my tradition. I have been holding this longing for a while. Listening to it but letting it brew and stir. What was I really longing for? Where was I being called?

I feel a new stage brewing- part of me has felt resistant to this next stage. I tend to want things to be permanent. I can't say I'd ever feel fully ready for this next part of my journey. It means that I loose something- not people - I will not loose them- but Ia moment in my life is moving on in some way. It is so clear and vague. The hesitation will no longer hold. The time is now.

I hear Spirit calling me out. I am scared. I am sad. I am eager. I am unsure. I am grateful.

I tend to be a person who likes to work from a map or a plan. I have none.

I am moving - not forward or back. It is not away from anyone or anything. It is simply a fluid journey and the tide has picked up and is pulling me back around full circle.