Being A Mystic

I think I am just a mystic.

mys·ti·cism (mst-szm)

n.

1.

a. Immediate consciousness of the transcendent or ultimate reality or God.

b. The experience of such communion as described by mystics.

2. A belief in the existence of realities beyond perceptual or intellectual apprehension that are central to being and directly accessible by subjective experience.

3. Vague, groundless speculation.

There are a few parts of this definition that really hit for me.

An existence beyond intellectual apprehension:

I find god in an other worldy space that is without words or explanation. It may be in a tree, the deep color of painting. It may be in a fellow traveler or a stranger. It may be within me.

Communion:

Being connected, feeling at one. I find god when I am in a line and I make eye contact with someone else. When my husband glances at me in a crowd. When I hear the ocean.

Vague, Subjective, Groundless:

I have no creed. I can't prove it. My experience is not firm in this world's definition.

I can't say that I ever really fit in a box. I have tried but it never really worked. I have felt god since my earliest memory, yet, it never quite matched any tradition or organization.

It's kind of freeing to think maybe I am just a mystic- vague, groundless, connected, present. I don't have to fit into a box or organization. A mystic only has to be awake.