Bob has been suffering from a wicked depression. The death of his father combined with school and work took him to a very dark spot. From my view it looked like hell.
Underneath this depression, many struggles have emerged. I have actually found this quite hopeful. The soul is self correcting at times. This amazes me. When our life isn't working, our soul cries loudly until we listen.
Bob and I share an ability to plow through what needs to be done. This can cause great spiritual pain. We are so busy plowing that we aren't listening to our lives. We miss warning signs, red flags. Progress is plowing through or is it?
I am looking to redefine my definition of progress. Perhaps it is slowing down enough to notice what is really happening. Perhaps it is saying, "I can't do this." Perhaps it is screaming for help.
Somehow in the midst of this crisis, I feel renewed. I can't really explain that.I'm guessing it is getting gut level honest about our life. Today I have no idea what the future holds. I have no plans. Freedom is the word that comes to mind.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
About Me
- lisa carlton
- Hmmm...Who am I? let's see the facts first. I'm 48 years old, married to my high school sweet heart, Bob. I I'm a mess most of the time, but everyone always thinks I really have it together. I love to listen to people and hear their stories. Art and writing are my spiritual practices. I deeply believe in god and that god is love. My theology is wide and constantly changing. When I was 18 I wrote out 4 pages single spaced on spiritual questions I had about life. I'm not sure I've answered any of them.
5 comments:
Hi Lisa, this is offtopic (sorry, but I don't know how else to ping you). You left a brief comment on my post about Mark Driscoll vs Brian McLaren, and I noticed you also blog for the Ooze, which is obviously emergent. I sure would like some feedback from you (or emergent friends of yours) about some of the questions I've asked on Wayfaring Pilgrim. I am genuinely interested in input, so if you'd have any inclination, please feel free to ping me. And if not, that's fine too. I just figured I'd ask...
Sorry for the interruption. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming...
Guys,
I have battled severe depression most of my life, so yes, hell is hell from the outside and hell from the inside when the dark clouds loom.
Just a word of hope, offered humbly and without presumption, though I know this was posted late last year - deep friends (Therese of Avila), community gatherings (Luther)and renewed eating/physical habits can bring shades of joy and a bit of control to a spiraling heart.
Also, drop some added commitments, no matter how "called" you feel you are to them. Hard in the short run, life in the long. iPods bring joy too. Old bathtubs, lingered in for an hour or so, can heal.
Luther actually admonished everyone in "severe melancholy" to find friends and avoid being alone for long. For one who loves to be alone, this was hard, but life to me.
There is indeed no silver bullet, but I've found some life in the system through these ancient and current means.
Found you through a friend's link.
http://www.danwilt.com
That's a great story. Waiting for more. Seroquel+100mg orange drive data recovery chairs paterson nj answering device machine message Home-based business opportunities in canada http://www.mature-naked-weman.info/black_extremely_hairy_women.html Calculate blackjack odds connecticut answering machines automatic Jannson wedding invitations answering machine works
Very cool design! Useful information. Go on! internet speed scrabble laura bush facelift Palm pda memory cards Shemale destruction Xenical buy xenical
Where did you find it? Interesting read Xanax addiction stories Kodak sd 256 mb memory cards Free instant slots no downloading no registration
Post a Comment