Holy Week Revisited

Two years ago, I wrote this post about a part of my faith dying. I had a great deal of sadness when I wrote this wondering where god would show up next and if I would recognize her/him. God showed in a huge way in a wonderful little community, Journey Imperfect Faith Community.

While I adore Journey and all that god is showing me in this community, there has been a longing for reconciliation with my tradition. It tugs and nudges at me especially during holy week. As I was processing this with a wise woman- I began reciting the baptismal covenant - we receive you into the household of god.

Tears flowing, I said, They dumped me.

Big pause and then like a 2x4 it hit me- yes, in a moment in time the church made up of imperfect people treated me and my family badly. Then just as I had recited the covenant, I began to list all the church had given me throughout my life - the people taught me about a god , the people who had loved me and the people who did ministered to me. I looked up at the wise woman and she said, "that is what we call acceptance."

This past Sunday on Palm Sunday I at woke at 8:50 rolled out of bed- threw on clothes and was standing at the entry as the organist began playing All Glory Laud and Honor. I stood alone with my palm in hand- unlike two years earlier- I felt it- god was there.

I ran home, picked up the crew and headed to my new community. The kids processed palms in hand- I felt it- god was there.

Reading back through the Service for Holy Baptism in the Book of Common Prayer, I am reminded what was said over me in baptism:

Lisa , you are sealed by the Holy Spirit in Baptism and marked as Christ's own for ever. Amen

Just like the people at the tomb- we get disoriented- god looks different- we are afraid that the end of the story is death. I have found myself holding tightly to little deaths. Yet, in god's own time something new is born. And to that I say- Alleluia. Christ is Risen and in the next breath I say- Shazam!