Our daughter left for college two weeks ago. I wasn't expecting this to be so painful. I have a rich, full life outside of my children. I am not terribly sentimental and yet this has knocked the wind out of me. I told someone I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach.
Today I decided a little art therapy was in order. I am currently all about Modge Podge. I was drawing the deep hole that I feel in Mary's absence. I was collaging the hole and then started flipping through a magazine. The next thing I knew I had cut out at least 30 images of women's hands and women holding things and few arms lifted high.
The collage was actually quite hopeful. I try not to make too much meaning out of this work. It is really more play for me. However, the hands represented space and an openess to receive.
While my heart still aches, I feel a little more energy wondering what will fill my open hands.
Friday, September 08, 2006
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About Me
- lisa carlton
- Hmmm...Who am I? let's see the facts first. I'm 48 years old, married to my high school sweet heart, Bob. I I'm a mess most of the time, but everyone always thinks I really have it together. I love to listen to people and hear their stories. Art and writing are my spiritual practices. I deeply believe in god and that god is love. My theology is wide and constantly changing. When I was 18 I wrote out 4 pages single spaced on spiritual questions I had about life. I'm not sure I've answered any of them.
4 comments:
Modge Podge, Modge Podge...I am all about the Modge Podge.
I had a great belly laugh with Bob when he told me that he bought you a gift and you went straight for the wrapping paper.
Last night I Modge Podged until 2am.
I love that we discovered it together on our Ojai Valley Inn retreat.
xocathi
I love this idea of open hands. Henri Nouwen compiled a beautiful book (of photographs and insights) titled something like 'With Open Hands'. He speaks of how we tend to face the world with tight fists - tightly holding onto what we have and aggresively defending that from others. But as we open our hands and let go it is tremendous how much more richly we both give and receive instead of that far smaller thing we were so tightly holding onto. He writes of how life is a process of learning how to slwoly unclench that fist.
Just some thoughts inspired by your lovely blog...!
I would love to see this collage. I often think of hands, they are important to me, and I am learning,a bit, about letting go. I love how the hands captured you and then you captured the hands.
what a great way to process some of your feelings of loss and disorientation
what lovely images to come out of it
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